I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
