just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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