You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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