People with herpes should wear stickers.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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