Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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