So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize