i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
