It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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