East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
