Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
