There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
