this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
