how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
