Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We are two peas in an std pod
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
