The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
