it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
