Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
