I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
