Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
