I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
