I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
