We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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