we're blogging at a bar
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Randomize
