don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize