youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
