it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
