Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
