called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
