i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
