did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize