so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
