i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
