where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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