My hand turned me down
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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