I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
