It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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