Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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