where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
