sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
not ubering you a puppy
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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