where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I feel like abortions should bother me more
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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