Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize