matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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