I'm pants shitting drunk right now
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
