GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Randomize
