U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
