So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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