The best revenge is premature balding
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize