I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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