She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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