meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
