Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
