just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
