We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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