Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
