So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
