I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
