Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize