My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize