Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
