are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
