i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
