It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize