I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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