I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
