When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I have demons in me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We need a shit load of segways right now
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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