just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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