talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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