my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize