I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So apparently I’m into choking now
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