Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
this just has baby written all over it
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
