He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
