PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
