Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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