wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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