Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
