i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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