Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't deserve a penis
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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