I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
