My nipple is on Facebook.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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