If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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