I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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